11.2

“Fix me?”

“Yes, Sile. Fix you. Unfortunately, I think that’s what I’m going to have to do in this hopeless case. You just won’t believe that your stupid brother and stupid father aren’t real!”

The crazy psychiatrist turned around and walked toward a table. He grabbed something that looked like a big metal hat in one hand and something skinny in the other. He whipped around and ran at me.

“AHHHHH! What are you doing?!” I screamed.

“It’s for your own good, Sile! I NEED TO FIX YOU!”

Bill jammed the metal hat on my head and jabbed a skinny needle into my arm. Immediately, I could feel the dark liquid burn its way up my arm and through my system. Bill then turned a switch on the helmet I was wearing and the electric shocks began...

An hour later, I woke up. I was lying on a cream-colored loveseat in Dr. Muze’s office and, although I couldn’t remember how I fell asleep, all I could think about was how comfortable the couch was. I almost wanted to fall back asleep.

“Well, good morning, Sile! Have a nice nap?” A tall man laughed and sat down across from me.

“Dr... Dr. Muze?”

He laughed and said, “Bill, remember. Call me Bill. Well, that’s all the time we have for today. I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel my other appointment. I am wiped out.”

I stood up and Bill walked me out of the office.

“Thank you for coming. I think we made a big break-through today. Should I pencil you in for next week?”

“Yes. Thank you, Bill.” Still confused, I left the building and took several deep breaths. Outside the door I heard Bill telling his next patient, the man from the Castle Apartments, that he couldn’t take him. Poor man. Maybe if I hadn’t fallen asleep he would have had his appointment. I almost went back inside to apologize for taking up so much time, but decided against it.

The walk home was a blur. I kept tripping on the uneven sidewalks and forgetting which turns to take. When I finally got home, I made myself a cup of tea to try to relax and unwind.

Suddenly the door caved in! The man from the waiting room stood over the broken wood. He was sweating, like he had just been running. He strutted through the wreckage and forcefully grabbed my arm. I saw hatred in his eyes. Enough hatred to cover the fear.

Before I could scream or plead or run, he lifted a knife high above my head and shoved it into my stomach.

I felt cold. Sile! someone whispered.

He stabbed me again.

Sile! The whisper grew louder.

And again.

Sile!! Now a shout.

The dropped knife and I sank to the floor. Blood soaked my clothes, my floor, my skin. I heard Felix meowing in the other room. And still that voice calling my name.

Sile! You’re here!

Who are you? I asked.

Don’t you recognize us? We’ve been waiting for you. Two men, one young and one very very old, stood in front of me. They wore white.

You've been waiting for me?

Yes! We weren't sure when you would come.

Who are you?

Sile, it’s Arlen and Pops! Don’t you remember us?

As soon as the man said the names, my brain exploded. It felt like 1000 electric shocks ran through my head at once.  

“Ughhh...” I said.

My murderer picked up the knife and stabbed me one last time.

Sile. It’s Arlen. You brother.

He walked towards me, arms outstretched. I backed away.

I don't know who you are. I said. I've never met either of you before.


But something about the men looked vaguely familiar. Like I knew them in another life. 


Sile, please. We've waited so long. He reached towards me again and touched my arm. My head exploded again, as if the previous shock were amplified.
I... I'm sorry... I backed away again and held my head in my hands. I started to see spots. A plethora of grays and blacks blurred my vision, blocking out the two men who I somehow recognized but didn't remember.


As the dull colors swallowed the scene in front of me, the shocks went off in my head like fireworks. They were so strong I could hear them.


Stop! Stop it! My head...


Sile, release the pain. Release the pain of remembering! 


I couldn't understand what he meant. Release the pain? What did that mean? 


Accept it, Sile. Release it.


Suddenly I understood. I raised my head and let the shocks come. My head split open from the pain, releasing repressed memories and withheld regrets. The black spots grew bigger around my eyes, blocking out any distraction but my torture.


Screaming, I looked up and saw my father and my lovely brother standing in front of me, arms spread wide.


Arlen! I shouted, just as the black splotches in my eyes completely blinding my family from me. I stuck out my arms, searching for them with my arms but didn't feel them. Crying and screaming, I sank to the ground and started falling. I fell into complete blackness – until everything was gone.